WHG: Looking for the shrinking cake

[workinghardguy]

Thanks LA, I think I am. The thing I'm probably struggling with the most right now is still the impact on the kids. I don't see SS and SD enough to know the impact. My S is doing good but I can still see it. On Saturday he told me he doesn't like the divorce because it means he can't see mommy when he wants to and can't see daddy when he wants to.

Probably the other struggle is resolving the fact that my W benefits from me advocating for myself and I just have to accept that or stop doing certain things. It's usually in respect to the kids. My C and I have gone round and round with it and I can't seem to find a solution. Here's an example:

Last week I asked my W if I could have all the kids for a sleepover one night and then have them all day on Friday, sleepover again, and then all day Saturday. It's her weekend with the kids but she's working on Saturday and spring break starts Thursday. So it's a perfect chance for me to spend some real time with SS and SD. SD's been asking to sleepover and this seemed like a good time to make that happen.

When I asked my W about it she looked at me like I had grown a second head. I asked her what the problem was... she replied that the kids have school. Ummm... no, the kids are on spring break (as if I'd pull the kids out of school... hello?).

So long story short... she didn't realize this coming Sunday was Easter nor that spring break was starting this Thursday (I asked her this last Sunday by the way). Since she didn't realize it she had no plans for child care or anything.

And so here I ride in again to save the day. It wasn't my intent... my intent was to spend some time with the kids, heck I was fearful she'd say no as Friday is her day off of work too.

So that frustrates me. I could have said nothing and not gotten the kids. Vacation would've blown up on her. I'm not trying to be vindictive, just letting her live her life. I would've really liked her to feel and experience that.