These are the longest of days, I feel for you as I go through them myself...like you, I want to share the details, and my W's details, and I miss my best friend...all the advice to GAL and detach is what is holding me together...it is their journey that we were not invited to go with (directly, as we actually are indirectly, leading us into our own journey).
As others have said here, this is a gift of time, to re-construct YOU into what YOU want for YOU the next 20-30 years...they can join us IF/WHEN they have resolved whatever it is that drives them to what they are doing.
Don't worry about being open to loving another person now, just be open to loving YOU and the kids...
I know it is hard to accept that they may not return, and every day is an exercise in uncertainty, wondering....I live there myself.
YOU will be okay, YOU will survive, think of something important to you as a child that is no longer there...remembering it may bring a smile to your face, tinged with sadness, but worth everything you went through during the loss, for the GOOD memories.
With luck, and perseverance, you might get that back, if not you have the memory of something valuable.
There are success stories, and that elderly couple you see walking hand-in-hand? That we so want to be us, and maybe a bit jealous of at this time? They went through tough times to get there...
Sorry about the rambling...you touched a nerve in me to unload some of the unsaid things to my W...
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
