am i better off without him?

[scaredsilly]

one of my husband's biggest problems with me is that when i felt our relationship crumbling and felt as if he were abandoning our marriage (and me), i told him i had decided to buy a condo in my home town to get closer to "my family, my friends, and my hometown" since everything in our marriage has mostly been about his family, his friends, and we live in his hometown.

he has told me that buying that condo was "as close to cheating as you could have gotten". i've come to realize that it was an afront to his masculinity and a major pulling away from him. he decided then to divorce me.

i've been thinking about it and i know i went too far with trying to protect myself from a perceived abandonment. he's always told me he doesn't care for the "tough" me (even though he did in the beginning). his first wife was so indicisive and unmotivated.

i texted him today that i shouldn't have bought the condo. that's all. i didn't expect a response. when i talked to him, he told me that he's glad for my sake that i'm happy with my realization (in other words, don't try to use this to get me back).

i then texted him that "i am telling you these things to make amends for the pain i've caused, not to get you to stay married to me. i cannot stay married to you. i love you."

then he called me and talked about it. he said, again, that it was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. we talked some more and i told him that this is the worst thing i've ever been through since the death of my father. he said it's worse than the death of his.

i need guidance. LRT does not work for him. he has said he can't move on talking to me because it's too hard on him. yet, he texted me just now with an example of an action of mine that he thinks is good and thoughtful. so he's making the effort to make me feel good about how he feels about me and say positive things. yet...he's at his mother's.

he has agreed to go to IC for himself.

any insights or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.