Just Keep Swimming

[finding nemo]

Thanks so much Cadet & Hopeless for the posts.

We haven't even been separated for 2 months and he is pushing for legal mediation (he's trying to save money). I am feeling like time is not on my side, but keep trying to stay positive.

I have accomplished some mini-goals when we interact:
1) Always look good
2) Stop crying in front of him (3 times so far)
3) Stop arguing with him (2 times so far)
4) Disappear when he visits the kids (once)
5) Act as if we're having a pleasant conversation (once)

Would love to be able to GAL, but H isn't seeing our kids regularly (only about 6 hours a week and not regular days). I feel funny about leaving my kids right now, they seem more fragile as time goes on and I become more aware of their pain instead of my own. Also, I'm a SAHM and have 3 very active kids - we are usually running every night of the week with different afterschool activities. However, I am trying to plan fun things to do with the kids that are low cost or no cost since I've been essentially cut off financially.

I'm just not sure what path I am to take at this point. I'm reading DR but I think my situation is dire since I really do believe H is in a full-blown MLC and seems to be on the divorce express train. I just don't know if he'll ever come out of this fog and I do not know if I want to be married to this "new" person.

Does anyone have any ideas how to speed along their spouse's MLC and bring them back to reality - ie that they are almost 45, married and a parent?