From what I've read this happens pretty frequently in MC. I read that 90% of the time, one person is coming to work on the relationship, and the other person is coming to:
1) "Fix" the other person 2) Help the other person realize that the M is over 3) Get validation that the R problems are all due to the other person
Therefore, one partner is willing, one is unwilling. You can, however, work on your relationship alone. The DB books talk about this, so definitely read them!
I've been on this forum for a while, and in my experience it's pretty rare for one person to just up and walk away without an EA or a PA going on. The pattern is usually that the person here says "my spouse would NEVER do that", and then after some period of time an affair of some kind is revealed. People typically don't jump without somewhere to land.
I'm not saying this to scare you or hurt you -- the point of me telling you that is that the results you will get from "Divorcebusting" vary considerably depending on if there is an affair going on. If there is no "other person", then you truly can make progress in restoring your marriage. As long as "other person" is in the picture, all you can really do is tread water and not make things worse relationship-wise, while using the time to work on yourself.
If you follow the suggestions in DB, do it well, and are seeing no results at all, I would be suspicious that something may be going on that you're not aware of. Don't get frustrated and think the program isn't working, you just need to adjust your timescale for how long it might take.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
