Sorry bugsy! You're right to be upset, and also right about leaving it up to S19 and H to figure out their R.
Kids should never have to fight for their parent's love.
Has S19 ever expressed to your H about how he feels? Sometimes the WAS needs to hear it from the kids to realize how much they're hurting them.
In my sitch, if I tell H what S4 sometimes says, H can get defensive and very immature, often voicing his feelings first. But I think it hits him when S4 says it directly to him. Like yesterday, we were all driving in the car, and out of the blue S4 says to H "Daddy, you don't love me anymore."
It's true that they have to work it out on their own, but I don't think it's wrong to suggest to S19 to express how he feels to his dad. What happens after that is up to them.
