Separation Helped So Far..

[anyhope]

Hi VC, yes I tried to fit fun in here and there.. We had amazing temperature the other week (+20) In Canada.. In March.. So people were out and about, I went to a few birthday parties on the weekends. Now he is there at all of these bday parties but I still have a good time. And the other mutual friend I visit every now and then is great, that's the guy whom h introduced ow to and he always kept me up to date. The issue I have with him is that we'd have a few drinks and he'd ask about H and how its all going, how I should forgive him and blah blah blah, sometimes (last time this happened) I felt like just snapping at him to let it be..

He had a party at his house the day before I wrote my last exam, also amazing day the day before and he invited me, I said I can't go because I have an exam the next day, so I'm busy. He also invited H who also called me to see if I want to go, so I told him too that I cant... Well days later I hear that h ended up going with ow.. Not that I was considering reconciling as I've said, but these are major setbacks.. I'm not sure if h knows I know, but he knows that I'm good friends with this guy and he tells me everything, so he's not majorly concerned about how I might feel about him hanging with her even tho he told my friend they are just friends.. Please, he's been telling me pretty much throughout the whole mess that she is 'just a friend' so... You know. I spoke to another friend about this and he said that by the sounds of it h doesn't really try hard at all to get me back and he is right. Sad, but true, he tries nothing, puts in no effort whatsoever.

I got him that book for Christmas, clearly I got it because I wanted him to read it, it was in the back of his car for weeks, I wonder if he just went ahead and threw it out.. I'd bet any money he didnt read it nor has any intentions to.

And yes last time he called i told him those things, how I felt unappreciated but I wonder if it comes off as whining.. Anyways he said he's a changed man.. and I thought to myself, sure you are.. The thing is he's turning 41 this year, I've been with him for 10 years I know him, I think a lot of times I know him better than he knows himself and I think if he treated me a certain way, acted a certain way for years he will most likely not change at this point in his life especially not easily. And some might ask why was I with him for so long if he was so terrible.. But you know how it is when you first meet someone, have a good time, things seem right or even if some things are not right they may be overshadowed by fun times, not to mention that the expectations of an 18 year old girl are not the same as my expectations today. And has told me how much fun I was back then and easy going.. so I told him that sure I was, I was 18, but people grow and change and have different expectations.. Well anyhow... not easy, and I guess you're right about it being still new but in all honesty so much has happened since then to me it feels like it was LONG ago when he dropped the bomb.