Well, PMS is over - YAY! It wasn't as intense as it has been, but clearly I need to continue to investigate further remedies. It's not fun for me - but it is good in that it highlights areas that I clearly need some work on still. So, that is a positive about PMS.

So, now I am clear again - I must say that I'm pleased with myself. My H emailed a very short email today with link to an article about something I am interested in. I let some time pass before responding with a very quick, "Thanks - very interesting yes!" and left it at that.

Something in me has relaxed again - thank goodness!

I have started to take stock: where I am and what I want, and how I want my future to look. While he and I had some really wonderful times together, and I would love to have all that back - it's the not so great things which I'm happy to certainly let go of. He made some mistakes, as did I. Neither of us had the tools to overcome them or at the least, accept our weaknesses and learn to navigate life around them.

So yeah, I realise I just want to get on with my life. I love my H, and I always will. But I realise this is a time for me to really evaluate my own values and needs as an individual and in a partnership, and start healing my 'wounds' from my R, accept my insecurities, and strengthen my strengths.

I already have a life, just that I need to focus on it a lot more than I have done. My mental capacity was taken up by the how to manage the sitch with my H.

On review - this past week - I have been exercising every other day with my kettlebells, which I just love. Now that PMS is over, I can start focussing again on reading for Uni. I am already going out with my friends (been having them over a lot these days), and doing the things I really enjoy (and need to do for Uni).

I love doing beauty treatments for myself, and am oiling my hair tonight as I surf the web.

If my H were ever to come back, I would be taking it VERY slow, of that I'm sure. I've realised that not only would I have to prove myself to him, he also needs to prove himself to me.