Jenna, I know you are hurting right now and have have many very difficult decisions to make.

This board is best when it sticks to DB ideas, advice, support. Your situation has moved beyond that and I hope you will seek professional advice and help.

I'm sure you will find support in your family and community and on the alt.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss