Not sure where to start

[wishing, hoping]

Having a hard morning thus far. Yesterday had a great day with S birthday party. H and I worked as a team to put this party together and it was so strange that he feels we can't work and that he has no feelings. All seemed normal yesterday and I fought like mad to keep detached and to have no expectations.

This morning is very hard. I saw H looking at homes online and he told me he was taking a shower but I heard him on the phone with someone whom I think is the other woman. I am trying to detach no expectations but this hurts pure and simple. This detachment is not coming easy. I know I should be the woman only a fool would leave but I am having a hard time holding back the tears. any recommendations would be appreciated. I feel I am at the end of my rope.