We were talking rather nicely and I was feeling comfortable. I told her I love her, I miss her, I want to be there for her, can she forgive me, can we work on a new R, forget the past and move forward.
W reciprocated none of my feelings. In fact, she rolled her eyes a couple times. She said she could tell I was trying, but it was too little, too late. Why didn't I do it two years ago. Why did it have to go this far for me to listen to her. She has reached her breaking point. And that point had been reached even before we moved. That she hoped the move and fresh start could heal our R. But it only made it worse. She has no feelings for me. Not that way. Its just not there.
I listened and validated without defending myself or trying to convince her that her feelings were wrong. I am not proud of myself for introducing this conversation, but I am proud of how I handled the sting.
I naively thought I could frankly and honestly tell her my feelings and she would be glad to hear it. WRONG. I just cemented her feelings of nothingness.
She said she didn't have a plan to leave, but it was on her to do list. She did not have a place to go to. She did not have a timeline in which to find one. That she would not be taking very much. Her clothes, a couple pieces of antique furniture from her grandmother, the wall decor, some cookware.
I am a little depressed. But I know I will be ok. I asked for this. I needed a stutus check. All in all it went well. I mean we were able to discuss some tough stuff without anger.
I still have hope. But I have no expectation. I do not expect she will change her mind.
