Kimmerz, Thanks so much for the replies. I'm glad that you found the article helpful. I have read so much over the last four months regarding abandonment, marriage, MLC and it's really helped me get where I am. I've learned a lot about myself and know I could have been happier if I could have asked for what I needed. Although, I really wonder if my H is capable of truly giving to another person. I read an excellent book, Receiving Love, which helped me undertand that when people aren't able to receive they can't give. My H grew up in a state of constant turmoil due to major family dysfunction. His needs weren't met, he was never heard, he was abused, etc. This all led to low self-esteem and low self worth. I also think he is clinically depressed as nothing we ever did, including vacations, ever brought any true excitement or joy in him. I use to just think he just had a very even temperament, but I see it differently now. The article I posted also helped me realize that due to his lack of bonding and mothering he is in desperate need of it now. He has so many deep wounds and a thick protectIve barrier which will keep him from feeling anymore than the initial euphoric high from a new relationship. After that dies down then the problems will start. Even though my H was very kind he wasn't emotionally available. I kept us going all these years. As our kids got older and I started creating more of life for myself he may have starting feeling like less of a priority. This might be why he said "You're a wonderful person to everyone but me." Isn't that typical MLC talk? I know I sound like a want-to-be therapist, but I'm just trying to make sense of this senseless situation.
