W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2

[Snowman]

Maybe I have been lying to myself be thinking that the actions of my W are not a deal breaker but really they are. An open marriage is not acceptable to me. I would not be ok if my W wanted to date other guys if we were not separated/in this mess so does that mean that I should not be ok now that we are separated? I guess so. Maybe I should move ahead with the D.

Chatterbug-I don't think I can control her or stop her from her happiness. I did not know where she was going on her trip until after I had agreed to it not that it matters because again that is controlling. I agreed to change the schedule freely and decided to not control her. I find out after where she was going from her. If I knew where she was going I would probably not agreed to change the schedule but yet again I know that is controlling. Its not like I can trust my W actions to be ones that I agree with or that are helping the R which yet again controlling on my part. My point being is that I could say no to ever request on schedule changes for my S and make things difficult for both of us but in the end my S is the only one that would suffer. I felt like everyone is advising me too set the boundary of open marriage is not ok and I agree that it is not with me. I also agree trying to drop a guilt bomb is not the best approach so I will pass on that but I still feel that I should set my boundary in the open marriage regard because yes it is not ok with me.

I'm sorry I made the stupid mistake of agreeing to the schedule change but all I had to work off was her question to do it and our past history of doing so because things have been pretty flexible in that area of our lives because we both work.

I sleep fine actually as I work hard and play hard. I will admit this thing got me frazzled this week here and there but not enough to ruin my sleep.

Starksy-When I try to answer what is the right thing to do or what God himself do question my mind swirls with thoughts. God would and has forgiven all of us so I guess I should do the same. The right thing to do is to be honest from my perspective and if I'm honest then my W dating or chasing other guys is not OK with me whether that is controlling or not it is my honest answer. If I'm being honest with myself and my W then I should share that with her and set the boundary.