I don't want to excuse her or me by any means but we both have had different scheduling conflicts in the last week were we have had to ask the other to cover for each other. Her going out of town only changes one day during this week and it is my weekend next anyone so she would be going anyway. I know if I didn't switch with her this one day she would perceive this as controlling . . .
Snowman,
How long have you been at this now? If you are still operating from a standpoint of worrying how your wife is going to perceive things, then you will be forever STUCK.
Start instead doing everything from a position of "What is THE RIGHT THING TO DO in this situation? What is the thing that God Himself would have me do, if He were standing right in front of me?"
I don't care one whit what your wife perceives things to be, when you are looking out for yourself and your interests, and neither should you.
I'm not just picking on you; this forum is FULL of threads of betrayed spouses who make grand pronouncements such as "Make no mistake, my wife knows EXACTLY what my position is!" . . . and yet their ACTIONS say otherwise. You'd actually be better off NOT saying a boundary, if you're not going to enforce it with action.
