Been a while since my last post....we met for lunch. The W asked if it would be alright if she started to stay at the house occasionally and ease her way back into our relationship & her relationship with our S too. I agreed, but did establish some parameters with her. I asked that the each week be planned out in advance so we all knew the days she would be here and wouldn't be. I also informed her that I was unwilling to go back to our previous relationship/marriage that existed prior to her leaving the house. I felt that it was unhealthy for me and also for our S.
I also visited a psychologist who specializes in trauma & abuse. She has extensive experience with men & women who were abused as children and experience with the spouse of men & women who were abused as children. This has been helpful for me as we work through my feelings related to the separation, but also understanding some of her erratic behavior. TG has been posting on my sitch about the storm going on inside. One statement by the psychologist has really struck a chord with me is that "you must understand that even if your wife married another man she would be experiencing this exact same crisis in her life. You must realize that you didn't do this to her and you also can't fix it for her." Wow....I heard that from someone on here....Thanks Truegritter!
In the meantime I have continued to exercise and really look great. I think I may be in better shape than when I was in high school. My buddies and I planned a fishing trip for the middle of April that I'm looking forward to. I've continued to read and educate myself on my current situation and really am starting to feel like regardless of what happens I will be a better person, but more importantly a better partner if my W decides to continue to work on our M. I confess though that I look at my W and my heart still yearns for her love & friendship. But my mind reminds me that the internal conflict brewing inside her prevents our M, me, and our S as being a priority. Patience. Just need patience.
