I just read for the first time, the six stages of a MLC. I do think she is in a MLC but add the childhood psyche issues into the mix and its a hornet's nest.
I think she's coming out of replay stage and entering the depression stage.
After giving you that advice on the alt. I have been trying to read through your thread. I only read this one(part 5) so I may still be missing some things but I get the general idea.
First childhood issues are part of the ingriedients of an MLC. So you are seeing her go back and verbalize some of these issues.
For the most part I think you are doing fine validating and listening to her. I am not sure there is that much more you can DO without totally letting GO. She is in the drivers seat right now and even while drunk, she is driving the car. You must let her. She may need to crash in order to figure out what she needs to do to move forward. As painful as that is to watch, it is the part that you must play.
As far as your analysis that she is leaving replay for depression. I do not think you are right about that, she is still in escape and avoid mode. Her replay antics may be changing and depression is part of the entire crisis. Sometimes they can hit what you think is rock bottom and bounce off of it and find more strength in some other way.
But what I see you describing still has elements of replay in it. The drinking, the crazy friends, the desire to leave.
Anyways I just wanted to leave this message for you. Keep on your path, she is on hers and as hard as it is to try to control you have learned that you can not. Be careful enabling her too much. It is like throwing gas on the fire. You can do nothing to speed this along but you can do lots to slow it down.
And I know none of us what to slow down this process.
