I don't love you, but we can be friends Part 2

[2thepoint]

She basically said that it is going to take her some time to believe that my actions are not merely a tool to keep her to stay.

This is not uncommon. But the fact that she is saying these thing means that 1, she is noticing and 2, she is interested in seeing more.

So you need to keep those changes and actions going. And they must become permanent otherwise if you R and you slip back into old habits or patterns you will find yourself back here again.

I just listened and then spent the rest of the night watching tv.

Next time in addition to listening, try validating. So when she says I don't trust your actions, you can respond by saying something along the lines of "W I can see why you may feel that way. I hope one day you'll see these as permanent changes" Or something like that.

I am glad that I found this site shortly after W dropped the bomb. I would have been a blithering idiot without out everyone's help.

Amen to that!!!!!