come on, you have only begun the fight. See my signature block below and my timeline? Okay...I'm not saying you MUST stick it out for 2 years.
I had children at home including a d in high school, so for me, 2 years was the internal timeline I had set so she could finish high school without too much upheaval.
You may come to a time when you choose to quit working on this, or to believe that the battle has been lost...but that's NOT today. Not 6 weeks into it. This isn't a diet.
Start giving yourself an internal timeline that is more realistic but makes you feel that you won't be in limbo forever. See if you can do it in, say, 90 day increments and then another one, and so forth...(though I think 6 months is more realistic. I've read somewhere that for every year of the r, you have to show change for a month. So that would be 8 months for you, right?)
it gets easier. You'll know not to even bother monitoring for results (unless they are obvious-then take note!) until enough time has passed for him to notice.
this is the "math" of it- consistent change + sufficient time = changes he can believe in.
The way he'll return to the marriage and work to restore it
is if he believes that marriage to you from this day forward
can be better/different than before.
What are YOU doing to show that?
As for what HE needs to work on...that comes much later. You are posting here to get help to save your marriage.
He is NOT here
so the only person we can help you with is YOU, but the good news is that you are in charge of you. And only you.
Keep posting and hang in there.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
