Please. PLEASE. Please ... for the love of all things holy ...
STOP ARGUING WITH HIM.
As much as you disagree with him. As much as you don't believe him. As much as he's been "body snatched" etc ...
HE FEELS HOW HE FEELS RIGHT NOW.
I'm not saying it's going to be that way forever, or even in a month or two months etc ... but RIGHT NOW those are his feelings.
Have you read the books? The threads? The archives?
Standing for your marriage is not about pushing your beliefs and feelings down his throat. It's not about convincing him that what you say/know/believe is true and real. DB is counter intuitive.
I know that you hope and think that if you just say it the right way or often enough, or if you use just the right reminder and sentimental story, or if you just disagree with him vehemently enough that he will see how much you love him and how much he loved you and loves you still.
That won't work. It will push him further and further away.
Right now, it's your actions that need to be loving, that will keep the road home paved smooth. Love him by not disagreeing with him. Resist the temptation to use every conversation he initiates as a chance to tell him how wrong he is, how big this mistake is, etc. Do not agree with him, but listen and validate. Don't help with the divorce, it is his divorce. Don't take the bait when he mentions OP.
Live your life. Live that list. Find ways to work through this process without the anger and resentment taking over (cause you will get mad!).
Let him walk his journey.
Peace, PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
