It seems that W will move 1 step forward and 2 steps back the next.
Hey Sad, I've been following your thread for a while (incidentally I'm in WI too) and I keep seeing you have questions about this. The reason you seem to be making progress, your W lets her walls down, but the next day they are back up twice as tall and twice as thick is this:
All WAS' believe two immutable truths (and I think MWD points this out as well).
1) The WAS knows who the LBS is completely. 2) That the LBS can never change.
Your W is seeing the changes and likes them, but it puts her feelings in conflict with those two truths. Then the walls go back up again.
You can't fight against someone's feelings. You can't reason them away. Your W is flat out telling you these things. That she fears that the changes are only temporary and you are only doing this to win her back. When her feelings are in conflict, she keeps coming back to the feeling she needs to be away from you.
There may come a time where you need to agree with your wife's feelings.
