I have a question about the average length of an MLC crisis (I know, it varies and totally unpredictable but still...). My H suffered from depression when I met him (in 2002), at that time I didn't really understand what depression meant. In my family depressed was something you felt if you came home with bad grades or had a bad day at work etc. Anyway, following the birth of our son in 2007, H went to visit his home country (which is not my home country) for the first time in many years, and came back a completely different person: Extremely depressed, wanting to leave me and the baby, etc. A long period of hard work followed (this is waaay before I discovered DB), with visits to psychiatrist, medication and so on. I realize in retrospect that this might have been the actual beginning of his MLC.
Now he is gone, and this time an OW is involved (last time there wasn't). The presence of H's mother (who doesn't live in the US, but sometimes comes to visit H's uncle here on prolonged stays) always triggers something in H - and of course she is here now. She left him at an early age, after which he was molested by another relative. Anyway, though I know there are no clear cut answers, I still would like to ask: Is there an average length of an MLC crisis? I have a feeling my H's crisis began in 2008, though he didn't leave until February of this year. I just read Laura Munson's "This Isn't the Story You Think It Is", and her H's MLC crisis seems to last 4.5 months. I know, I know - wishful thinking, but I'd like to ask nevertheless. Unfortunately, my H has way more emotional luggage than Ms Munson's seems to have had.
And BTW, Cadet, thank you so so much for your advice! Very, very helpful. I feel so blessed having "met" you and everyone else here, I count myself lucky in spite of all the mess right now.
