Hi Everyone! I'm back! The last time I posted I was very depressed. H started talking more about moving out of his parents and into the apartment that I renovated for the tenants he's kicking out
I seriously thought that he would be back before this but it's well underway. As of April 13 he will be moving into his bachelor pad (most likely having OW there) making breakfast in the kitchen I designed -double
Also, the last time I posted we officially started with separate bills. I handle my money, he handles his. This was difficult for me since I saw it as solidifying our relationship since we weren't married.
My pluses have been very good ones, I must say! I go regularly to Al Anon meetings (It seriously WORKS IF YOU WORK IT!). I attend at least 3 meetings a week. I also started going to a divorce/separated group at my church. I love this group! They're not DBers but it's an opportunity to cry and laugh at our sitch. I go to a therapist that practices cognitive behavior management and it's helped raise my self esteem!
As for H, he's actually more relaxed. It's been gradual but he's a lot easier to talk to. He helps even more with the kids and does things around the house without asking. I tap into his love languages, appreciation-thanking him, praising him, complimenting him; acts of service-asking if he needs me to do something for him (he often says no, but appreciates it); receiving gifts-when I do grocery shopping I'll buy him a little something to snack on when he's over (he loves this).
I have practiced detaching with love and engaging in things that will only bring me serenity.
I know I shouldn't compare my sitch with others, but I did. Now I realize that every sitch is different and I shouldn't put a timeline on it. However, I must say, that once we get to the year mark of DD, I will (not only feel a lot better) but be ready to leave him behind.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
