W came over in the morning for an hour before appt. She talked about how she doesnt understand why I dont hate her and she thinks of me as her best friend and even though i dont show it she knows im still angry and hopes its not forever and that i can forgive her. she says she just doesnt like t be alone. She says she wants someone there in the morning and nite(I work for an airline so im gone 2 or 3 nites). I just listened and told her im rarely angry and i could never hate her. i think of her as my best friend and i have already forgiven her. she says i should be angry at her it would make me feel better. I said are you still angry at me and she said no but this was easier when she was.Right now she says she feels alot of guilt and remorse.
So we go to the C t talk about the kids and this C we both like right of the bat. 10 minutes into it he says" ive been doing this for 23 yrs and i have t say, i look at yall and you 2 dont seem like the normal couple getting the D r you sure you want t do this?" W tells him were best friends and love each other but alot has happened and then we give him a quick run down of the current sitch. He did a good job of a little talk about us and the switch to the kids. He tryed t tell the W that this R she is in is a fantasy. that neither one of them were or are being real t each other. that this was a big betrayal on OMs part and once a betrayer? W then defends him w he has been on his knees asking for forgiveness and that hes a christian. C say well if he was asking for forgiveness and believed himself a christian once he realized what he was doing was morally wrong he would have stopped. He told my wife that his actions on the situation is a giant red flag.
Anyways there was no ahha moment for her but she does want to see a IC so i hope that works out. i will probably see one aswell. He probably said 3 or 4 times i think you guys should reconsider but the W just shook her head.
When we left she said she liked the guy and wishes we would have seen him 5 yrs ago. then she brings up OM and i say i dont want t talk about it. she says yes he betrayed you but then again so did she. I told her at the time she was an emotional wreck at the bottom of the barrel and he knew this because he was being my shoulder.I said you had convinced yourself that i had someone else and you were trying t protect yourself. I say he took advantage of her, that hes an opportunist and someday she will realize it. she said "well i guess i was too". she went on about how hes sorry, treats her well and wants t marry her and doesnt drink anymore and so on. i just said i dont want t talk about him, i know his personality is fun and a good time but,his character is very flawed and that she didnt ruin a friendship(btw him and I) because that friendship was never gonna last. She said she had made an adult decision and she has to stick with it. she cant be that person who doubles back around? she wishes things were different but she made a decision. i told her you left our R because you felt trapped and now you feel trapped in ur new R. she gave me the little smirk that says its true. So much for not talkin about OM...
she then came into my place for 20min or so hung out w the kiddos then split for work. This is all so frustrating. I dont know if today was positive, negative, neutral, the start of a turn in the good or bad direction. she wants to see a IC now so I have to think thats good no matter what happens.
