Spinning, neglect, loss and the bomb

[ouroboros]

An update...it's been a little over a month since the bomb.
I don't quite know how to write this update, but I think it'll be good for me to try to at least list out some observations of our interaction.

GAL:
1. Stopped drinking.
2. Started antidepressants, which are seriously helping. Frequently feeling sad, but not feeling numb or vacant.
3. Working out 3-4 times a week. Not a secret, but W doesn't know.
4. Occasionally hanging out with friends.
5. Getting a symbolic tattoo next week. Not a secret, but W doesn't know.
6. Getting IC
7. Compiling legal/financial advice to know my options and protect myself should D become even more likely.

The M:
1. 2-3 weeks of 180s.
2. One C session which seemed to do no harm, but didn't tell either of us anything new (more getting the therapist up to speed), another C next week.
3. Hired a DB coach. The most salient point she made was to view the 180s, as well as any opportunity for physical interaction (e.g., a hug, kiss on the forehead) through a lens of "does this make me more attractive". This was hugely helpful for me to clear up my hesitation about the "aloof and distant" issues with the 180s and better define what are my goals.
4. Right or wrong, provided the birthday surprise I previously mentioned. This seemed warmly received.
5. Outside of the one C, no discussion of the M or the D at all, not one little bit.

Good/bad signals:
1. Over the past week or so, realized that W is asking for more "favors" than usual, and ones that are timesinks or commitments for me (e.g., can you take the kids to school even though I worked 16 hrs straight and got to bed at 2am, or is it ok that I invited a playdate over for the D/7 when W will be at the doctor). Maybe W is checking boundaries. I'm thinking I need to find opportunities to say no.
2. W woke me up to see the S/D cuddled up together in some serious cuteness.
3. W briefly put her head and hand on my shoulder when we were together watching a goodbye speech for one of the S's influential teachers.
4. W went well out of her way to try to let me sleep in today (even if the S/D didn't).
5. W is suddenly not coy about some things again--like nudity getting dressed. Or watching and talking to me as I undress to take a shower.
6. W is performing chores regularly, and then some (like organizing). I've responded in kind, and consistently.
7. W is cracking jokes with me, and vice-versa. We've actually had a couple belly laughs over the past week.
8. W has made several references to longer term things she'd like us to do, mostly about the house or landscaping. Maybe this is just to improve the $ of the house, I don't know.
9. A person close to myself, and especially W, is about to pass away. W has reached out to me several times to briefly discuss.