Is there somebody else in the picture? Who knows? Really doesn't matter though - he is trying to get you to play by his rules. Lawyers will tell you to try and be friendly. That's good advice, but it takes two. Be friendly, but firm.
Based on what he said, you are clear to do what you need to do. He actually gave you permission! Be nice, but be firm.
If he doesn't like the agreement, he can choose to not agree to it. But if you let him influence your decisions, you will find later that he is very selfish and has no regard to you or your well-being.
Rule of thumb - don't commit to something that you'll later regret. Look past the here and now and look down the road. Plan for the worst and hope for the best.
Remember always that this is what he wants. You must assume that he is not somebody you know nor can trust. You must assume he will manipulate you and later justify it in his mind (and to others) that you deserved it or were stupid or whatever.
Keep the emotion out of it. That's not easy, but it wasn't your choice in the first place. Don't play by his or anyone else's rules. You are in it to win it, so to speak.
He can pull the plug whenever he so chooses. Assuming you agree at the time if that happens. It likely won't and you have to operate with that in mind. At least, you would be well advised to take that approach.
He wants a divorce and you have no say in that. He feels guilt, but that will turn to anger (and may already have.)
Follow your lawyers advice and encourage your lawyer to go for as much as possible. Be alert to timing of issues. Tell your ex nothing about the conversations and let him find out from his lawyer what you are asking for. That's what he asked for and that's what he'll give to you regardless of how nice he is "acting" right now.
The act is sometimes just to make themselves feel better. In fact, if he continues to be angry (and he likely will) then you can use that. I suggest you do so.
Remember, you didn't ask for this. You won't win anything. You are trying to get what you are entitled do because of his decisions.
He will spew, blame, etc. He'll do that to everyone but himself. Stand firm, GM. Who knows? It might get him to wake up to what he's doing and you can always give something back later if you feel like it and agree to it
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
