How do I change how I feel? It has been years of this. It would have been easier for me if you would have just beat the s*** out of me, that is something I know how to deal with. Emotional abuse is not. You have been doing a great job with the kids lately but it feels to me like you are trying to manipulate me in to staying with you.
I really don't know what to do any more, maybe I should move and just be away from you. I need time to think. I feel like a failure because I don't/can't love you and I am going to destroy the kids because of the way you have been with them lately. They are going to hate me if I make them leave and if I didn't know better I would think that is why you have been acting so good with them lately.
I have been doing it so long by myself that I don't know what to do now that you are helping out. I don't know if my feelings can change.
