When I said earlier, "I don't appreciate..." I meant it to be joking. I knew you were just telling me the truth, and I do appreciate that. But it stings. I wish clarity were around the corner. That you've been there and tell me that it is not is disappointing, but just means I need to learn to move forward in the fog. Maybe "rely on my instruments" like a pilot in the clouds?
So, bond and 25yrs, thank you. If I was rude, please forgive me. It was unintended.
I guess that I have been pretty sorry for myself. Thank you for calling me out on that, and please keep me straight on this.
Basically, I do not feel that the life I want is a decision a way. I don't think I was bewailing that fact, just a little indecisive on the first steps to take. The direction one sets out in greatly affects the destination one arrives at.
But that assumes a methodology of "first one step, then another, then another..." This is related to the human pattern of doing what doesn't work, then doing more of what doesn't work.
My coach suggested for me (and this whole DB system is built on) a different framework. "First one step, then look around and see where it took you. Be aware. Now, what is your next step going to be?"
You guys know this: bond said "Clarity comes through with alot of trial and error. And no one gets it right off the bat."
But my listening skills need some work.
I am looking for someone to give me a map. There is no map. Nobody has ever been where I am. But I have been blessed to find some experienced orienteers who are friendly and willing to help me as I find my own way. Thank you. I am grateful.
My family will get back next week, and even between now and then I will be paying attention to what works and what doesn't work in life. When I ask to talk to the kids on the phone, how does W react? When I ask my S9 "So tell me about something that happened today?" do I get a preferable answer to when I ask "Are you having a good time." ("Yes" is easy to beat)
When I try to break my thoughts up and organize them, do I get better responses to my posts than when they are meandering and filled with whatever disappointment and desperation I am feeling when I write them?
