I am so sorry to hear this has happened. Be grateful he had the courage to tell you what he did and the papers would be served to you. My stbx acted like my best friend I hadn't seen in years, even slept with me once and didn't even tell me the papers were coming, which he knew for 2 months they were coming. His excuse? Well he filed in the heat of the moment!
Yes this is a very long process. I think it's encouraging that he's said you can always withdraw the papers if he changes his mind and you're receptive. He's probably just trying to strike while the iron is hot, so to say, or WHILE HE STILL HAS HIS NERVE TO DO SO.
What he said is confusing but I would say typical projection... don't screw him because he wants what's best for you and the boys? What does he consider best for you and the boys? Is that a threat of some sort? If you don't cooperate he won't cooperate back? I don't like that statement he said.
Remember...he wants this divorce. And when there's divorce there are always consequences, and it's not a bed of roses for the WAS once they really get into the REALITY OF DIVORCE. I would stand firm in what you're entitled to by LAW..... spousal support for starters. This is where they can start to lose their minds and mega spew will come hurtling at you 100 mph. Especially when you stand your ground and your voice be heard with a good attorney that will back you up.
I look at Divorce differently now. The actual act of Divorce is a legal unbinding you from another person, to a certain extent, yet a legal business contract that mainly re binds you financially when child support and spousal support is considered. The actual RELATIONSHIP between two people during and post divorce is a whole new ball of wax.
Miracles happen every day and I firmly believe in them. The thing is, miracles happen in their own time, not ours. Sometimes the miracles we want or think we want aren't the ones we really need. Or we get what we pray for but we overlook some serious reality and reprecussions on the way too. I know every miracle I've seriously prayed for with my husband and family has actually come to fruition, but just NEVER in the way I thought it would be or wanted it to be.
I prayed for the oppurtunity for my husband and I to find ourselves and our happiness, and our way back to one another someday. I sure as hell didn't think it would end up through this though. Right now we're on our paths to find ourselves and happiness. It leading back to one another and stopping the divorce is not going to happen in my case.
