Outside the Scope of This Report Part 3

[WenikiTiki]

Kaffe: Yes and no. We had been sharing the bedroom since 1 Jan. The day after OW left the island he must have made her some promises. She didn't know I was sleeping in the masterbedroom. He asked me not to put it on FB. As if I would.....

Anyway, that night he told me he wasn't going to sleep in the same room as me anymore. He was going to move into the guest room that night. I was so angry I took my pillow and went to the guest room. I had slept in the guest room Oct, Nov, Dec already. All my stuff was still there, as I wasn't feeling secure in moving it back.

I continue to have panic attacks, trouble sleeping and just a feeling like I am out of place. The room upstairs is my room, my paintings, my furniture choices, my curtains. I know it sounds a bit childish, but I want to sleep in my beautiful bedroom.

He says we are separated. I have done 4 months in the bedroom where I don't feel comfy. I count, too.

I will leave his dresser empty, I will leave his side of the closet empty. If he ever decides to make our marriage and our relationship a priority, we can discuss him moving back into the bedroom.

I don't see that happening anytime soon. He has gone back and forth between OW and myself either 7 or 15 times depending on how you count it. I don't think I should accept from him what he is giving me.

And if I do need to move along and let him do his own thing, then I need some space where I can be alone. I feel like he controls my every move.

I am having to take medicine for panic attacks. I don't like where I am right now. I need to find me. And seeing him wanting to sit wiith me and watch TV with me and pretending like all is well, then the next minute so openly talking about us getting divorced bugs me.

I want to go dark, but meed some space to do it in.

How can I kick someone out who has emotionally already gone?

I will take feedback and 2x4's on this, because maybe I am missing something.

All I really know is I cannot go on feeling this bad.