Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time

[ClingingToHope]

So Tuesday performance came and went. It was a series of nine different groups of kids performing skits and it was painfully bad.

Only two groups got applause. These two girls that D13 has had some competitive issues did a fine job on their skit and got applause.

Then D13 came out in a witch costume, doing a scene from wicked. There were two other girls -- D13's friends -- in the scene, but they were really window dressing. It was pretty much D13's scene. She picked it and basically directed it and nailed it.

They got the most applause and D13 just soaked up the attention after. If she really works at it, she can go pretty far in theater. She likes to be comfortable though.

I sat far to the left of XW, ex-MIL and D9. I'd been told beforehand BF wouldn't be there.

During play, I get a text. XW locked her keys in her car. Can I give ex-MIL and D9 a ride to get something to eat after. I said yes.

Instead, I ended up driving all of them home and it was bizarre. I gave ex-MIL a book I got for free at newspaper about Broadway. She was really happy.

When it was over a weight was off my shoulders. I get myself in such emotional knotts for these 'family' events where I know I'm going to have to see XW.

Next morning that developer friend of mine forwarded me a link of a man telling an audience the three things he learned when his plane crashed.

It was short and the most important thing to take away from it is he's going to eliminate negative energy from his life and try to be the best dad possible. He's still married. Still, I've been working on that for the past few days. Anytime negative energy creeps into my brain, take a deep breath and think of something else. Last year, I had a rallying cry that worked for a while. I just want everyone to come to my funeral. Some took it the wrong way, like I expect to die soon. I don't expect to die for a long, long time. When I do, I want EVERYONE I came in contact with to take time out to see me off.

The negative energy thing makes sense to me. Every time I see a picture of XW, or hear her voice or see her I just tense up. She's negative energy. I've been beating myself up for avoiding her, but she's probably always going to be negative energy.