Ugh...gotta love (NOT) the rollercoaster of the WAS/MLC'er.
My advice is to put what you have learned about detachment into practice. Do not get back on HIS rollercoaster. Simply step back, refocus on yourself and the kids, and give him his time and space to be angry and get over it.
Don't try to mind read about what this little fit was about. If he chooses to tell people the two of you are separated, so be it. That is his choice, and you cannot control it. You have chosen to not tell certain people about the separation. That is your choice, and he cannot control it (don't allow him to). You don't owe him any explanations for your choices.
I'm glad you found some good material on detachment. Read it over and over again. If you haven't gotten "Journey from Abandonment to Healing" yet, please consider doing so.
I know it is hard to witness the effect your husband's choices have on the kids, but again...they are HIS choices. Do not own them. Just do your very best to provide your children with a loving and stable home from YOU.
