Rick, how often has your W given that type of confession (for lack of a better word?) That is some pretty honest statements about herself. Of course there is a big difference between acknowledging something and then doing something about it. But just maybe that transition is starting?
She's been pretty open to me for about nine months out of the year. I'm telling you she is so lost, that she is miles from thinking beyond herself, but tortured by the reality of living amongst the wounded. If she can find herself, and get back with her kids I'm happy for her. CES - I have no idea how to handle something like this really, even with all the research I've done. The psychiatrist is working his ass off for her and wants to see her way more. I don't know what to do often. I'm watching someone die before my eyes. I really think if she was on her own, and just started taking one step at a time in a life completely of her own direction, she will get her answers and sense of self.
From looking at my W, I see the victim mentality so clearly and it sounds like your W is heavily grounded in this mindset. The statement about "beyond repair" seems to indicate that. If she believes it is beyond repair then she doesn't have to do anything about it.
It's so hard to really know what's going on. I hear everything and a lot is contradictory. And I'm not going to write off the harmful life choices as if she's some sort of person incapable of making decisions. Choosing to ditch your famile to drive 600 hundred miles to, you know, with soemone else in your family might be crazy in some aspects, but its not someone operating under mind control. Choice.
I pray she can see options and that her IC help her. Wish the road were shorter for you my friend. Take care,
Thanks CES...glad to know you're out there helping out.
