Things have been going pretty well the last couple of weeks. My new clothes and better attention to hygiene was a pretty big 180 for me, apparently. I added to that momentum by getting some veneers for my teeth. I can smile now without being afraid of people seeing inside my mouth. That's a pretty nice feeling!
W has certainly noticed these changes, and has complimented my clothes or how I dressed a number of times. She laughed at first when she saw my veneers, but as time has gone on, she's made more comments about how natural they're looking and that I have a nice smile.
There seems to be less hesitation from her for us when it comes to being in each other's personal space. Be it in the kitchen, on the couch, at church... no efforts are being made to take it further, but there's no recoiling going on, either.
She mentioned the other night that MIL was relieved that we were friends again. This was news to me, I didn't know she felt that way, though that's certainly what I've been working towards. Gotta start somewhere.
She's been making me cook a bit more often with the excuse of "you need to be able to cook for S". Of course, I don't disagree! Learning to cook is another 180 for me, and will be beneficial on down the line, regardless of what happens. Crab cakes, salmon patties, blackened chicken... kinda nice knowing how to make these things now. She complimented my efforts (everything I've made so far has turned out pretty good).
Talk about seeing the C that our pastor recommended keeps coming up. She's ready to make an appointment, and I told her that we should. MIL is also all for this, saying that of all the counselors she ever saw, she didn't get any real help for herself and her issues until she'd seen one for MC. Not really sure what to make of that statement, because MIL and FIL went to several MCs and still got divorced (apparently, FIL realized he wasn't going to stop cheating on her).
The above stemmed from a conversation about depression. W has been talking about getting on adderol again (she was on it as a teenager for ADHD) because she can't focus on anything, even the things she enjoys. Add to this that she always seems tired and is in a generally despondent mood about half the time... I told her I was only going to mention this once, but that I thought she should talk to the doctor about possible depression, pointing out the overlap between what she said were her ADHD symptoms and what's generally accepted as depression symptoms. She bristled at that a little bit, but seemed to calm down a bit when I told her that I just didn't want to see her suffer. She admitted that depression likely was playing a big role in everything right now, but seemed content to wait to see the C to address that. I told her that she needed to for S's sake, and the sake of the people that love her. In all, it was a conversation that could have gone much worse... and I've kept my word so far about not bringing it back up.
The issue about cell phones seems to have been finally laid to rest. She was just about adamant on us signing a contract so we could get new phones. I never actually said I didn't want to do that, but noticed that most of her complaints stemmed from a broken android phone she bought while we were separated. I took the phone with her permission for a couple of days while I worked on it. It took a while to figure out what was wrong, fix that, then figure out what it was that I broke, and fix that. In the end, the phone seemed to be working just fine for a few days, and W said she was pretty happy with the phones the way it was. At least I was able to avoid what could have been a tense conversation.
A few days later, though, the problems began again. W has no luck with electronics, it seems. Since I'd filed our taxes, we could afford to get a replacement for her. I found a brand new version of the phone she bought (used) for the same price that she paid for it. I also got her an otterbox case, since she tends to be a bit of a butterfingers.
She randomly talks about things she'd like to do around the house, hanging certain decorations, getting cushions for the patio furniture (which belongs to my family and would definitely be going with me in a D). It's not quite talking about a future together, but it seems like the fight or flight aspect of our sitch is on hiatus.
We occasionally flirt a bit now... it's kind of like the high-school 'do mean things to the person you have a crush on' kind of flirting, but it's recognizable flirting.
The other morning, W woke up before me (rare, I have to be at work at 6a, she usually doesn't have to until 10a) and greeted me with a bright "good morning" and startled me pretty good. We talked briefly while I finished getting ready to leave, and as I was going to leave, she gave me a hug. A one-armed hug, but a hug nonetheless. It was the first no occasion hug since well before the separation began. It's only happened the one time, but it was kinda nice.
The problem with going so long in between posts is knowing that I'll likely remember other things later. I'm sure I'll be back as I remember stuff.
Me: 31 W: 28 M: almost 6 T: 10.5 S2 Bomb#1: 05/11 Bomb#2: 11/11 S'd: 11/28/11 Moved back in: 12/28/11 MC: 06/28/12
