I went through that too -- talk to your primary care doctor, they'll prescribe something to help you sleep and reduce the anxiety. I wish I could tell you it will pass quickly but for me it did not, it took quite a while. I was "owned" by it for a long time. One good thing I started doing was riding my road bike. I was riding 12 - 15 miles every day, some days as many as 25. It felt good to be "doing something" and the exercise definitely makes you feel better. The other thing I did was find two people I could vent with. I had to find two because I was afraid it would be too much of a burden for one. Just talking about it really helped, particularly "live" to someone who was sympathetic. One interesting thing I noticed was that the women who knew I had been cheated on were genuinely outraged whereas the men weren't that phased. I don't know why that is, but the outrage from my friends' wives definitely made me feel better.

There's no doubt about it, it's "tough sledding". All I can tell you (and keep telling you) is that you WILL feel better, and you'll come out of this stronger. I know it feels very desperate at times and you can't get it out of your mind. Feel sorry for yourself and grieve, it's ok, and get all the help you can.

I know what it feels like and it's awful. Beyond bad. I definitely would have been very gratified if W had wanted to reconcile however. In my sitch, she was pretty bent on divorcing, even after OM was done. When I hugged her or kissed her she told me it felt bad and wrong. That was not good.

Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015