No one is going to judge you for what's happened in your life. Accuray
I guess I'm not really concerned about being judged. It's more a personal reflection on myself and just looking at where I'm at and how lost I am. I kinda could care less what everyone else thinks at this point. Just really disappointed in myself.
And I know what you're saying about it happening everywhere because I have talked with a lot more people about this since he has left me and it does come to the surface. Divorce was never something I ever even worried about and didn't pay much attention to. So when people were getting divorced, I thought, well that's sad. But obviously I had no idea the amount of heartbreak that goes into it.
Well, I get it now. My worst nightmare's have been a reality. My H used to always ask me long ago what my deepest fear was, and my answer was always "losing him." His was the same (losing me). I'm just amazed everyday at how I got here. It is completely insane.
Today was probably the most worthless day of my life. I think I ultimately fell asleep last night at about 4:45 am due to crying every time I laid my head down and all I could think about was them having sex. I could not get the thoughts out of my head and was so angry that I couldn't sleep because I needed to have energy for my kids today. I woke up at 7:30 to get my kids to school and because I haven't eaten much I can barely stand up without almost blacking out. So my day pretty much involved a lot of crying. Really, it was nonstop. And a lot of laying down due to my lack of energy.
My mom kept looking at me and had no idea what to do.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
