looking for hope

[jc180]

Today's been a hard day. My W came over to pick up Son. She said her lawyer will be talking to my lawyer tomorrow because she got served today. To quote her "It's on." Then she gathered his things and left.

I was expecting her to be furious. I must admit that I was hurt at her nonchalant attitude. As each milestone passes I keep hoping it will turn her around. First it was being away from home. Then spending a weekend without our son. And now being served. So far she is just as determined now as she was before. I read a story in a book called "I am second." It was about an affair. The part that really stuck with me was the wife's belief that signing the divorce papers would bring her happiness. As it turned out she felt nothing. What she expected to happen didn't.

I think she must have been upset. Maybe this is a new way of her to bait me into a fight. She knows that it upsets me very much and if she acts like it doesn't bother her then I will be hurt. I am proud to say that I only talked about our son as she got him ready. Of course, after she left I had a fit.

Today was also my last day with my personal trainer. She is such a great person. After we were done she told me she would keep scheduling me so long as no one else needed her. I thanked her and agreed to see her Friday. Even though I'm feeling depressed it's good to know that there are people out there who care about others.