I know what you are saying in a round about way about not making any definite decisions on my R. I haven't made any of these decisions really, I'm just listening to what my W is asking for - space (and for me to go). I honestly believe she wants to be single and to do what she wants right now, because that's how she says she has felt for a long time - single (but with the guilt).
I'm going to keep improving myself in every way possible & the dream is still for my W to want to really give us a shot again & to let me show her how my changes can help fix our relationship & make it stronger than ever.
I really have been unhappy for a long time. I'm not unhappy that I'm married to my wife - if I had my time again I'd marry her every time. But like everyone on here, we would have listened & changed our 'more of the same' behaviour, overcome our problems and cherished our spouses.
I think it is fair to say our WAS's are confused but we can't assume anything about what they are feeling. I suspect that the way we are up and down day to day - they are exactly the same - searching for validation - trying to prove to themselves that they are doing the right thing.
We've got to regain our self esteem, our confidence and our sense of freedom to become the real you and I again YC.
Your sitch is a lot further down the road to mine and it does sound like there are green shoots of hope & possibilities for you YC.
I'm only just starting really (accepting the reality) and I'm getting myself ready for a rough ride of highs and lows.
Bill
Me 34 W 32 D 9 S 6 M: 9 years T: 12 Bomb: 02/11/12 EA/PA: 12/17/11 - ongoing Moved out: Oct 2012 Joint Filed for D: 2/11/13
