Husband left me...feel hopeless

[Accuray]

I can also explain why he won't commit to dinner -- he's afraid. He's afraid that agreeing to dinner with you will signal to you that he wants to work on the M, and he's not there yet. Therefore, if he goes, he's afraid the expectations will create yet more pressure on him. He's also afraid you're going to make him feel badly by seeming sad, unhappy, etc. and letting him know he's the cause. He feels guilty and he doesn't want to reinforce that.

When he looks at a date with you, he sees more hurt and potential negatives than positives. What's he going to get out of it?

I'm not saying this to make you feel badly, just to give you a view into why he's acting this way. Your expectations are scary to him right now, and he doesn't want to be responsible for your feelings.

If he believes you're happy, working on yourself and doing your own thing, and he's not sure what you're up to, there's some positive motivation there for him to go on a date: he can potentially share in your happiness, he can try to figure out what's going on with you, there's no dark cloud hanging over your head, etc.

Make sense?

Accuray