I really think I'll know how my detaching is going by about this time tomorrow. My W is going back dancing & is going to be dancing with the OM and has told me straight that she doesn't care what I think about it.
To be fair, I know exactly where I stand and that we are no longer in any R - other than being friends and playing happy families for the unsuspecting little guys, who are yet to get the bomb themselves.
How I deal with these 2 situations will be my biggest immediate tests. The OM is old news to me now and I fully expect to be kept in the dark about if there is still an affair going on. Either way, that is her business - because we are no longer together in the sense of Husband and Wife.
I'll have to be strong for the kids when the time comes (which will be soon) and I need to make sure I'm as detached as I can be from their Mum in time for that bomb.
I just put my little girl to bed before and she said that she wants to save her picture frame that she won the other day to put a picture of all of us as a family outside Hogwarts when we go to Universal Studios. It made me feel happy, sad and kind of vindicated that I am doing the right thing going on holiday together.
On Sunday when we were arguing I said to my wife that I didn't want to bring the kids into our Relationship discussion. But when she said that they would be fine, I said, 'Can you remember all the Christmas's, Birthday's, days out and holidays and time spent as a family together'? W 'Yeah' Me 'Well imagine them without your Dad being there' She just took it as me guilt tripping her (yeah in part it was, but I wanted her to get a picture in her head just how much this is going to affect all of our lives not just mine & hers).
We've been getting on a lot better since Sunday, there is no tension between us. The conversations are comfortable, we always were good friends though.
I'm happy that I've felt good for 3 days about the sitch & not been thinking about what my W is doing. Just doing what I need to do. I'm getting there with the detachment and think I'll be ready when the time comes to tell the kids and move out.
Yeah I know moving out goes against what everyone says on here, but my W has said that if I don't go and make her go she will take the kids with her anyway, so I need to do what's best for the kids in that respect if one of us has to leave.
Although my post seems a little downbeat, I feel OK and I still want to be with my W - but I don't want to go back to the way things were, just as much as she does.
So I guess I'm saying that I'm going to take that long road, but I'm going to do some things my way & work on my 180's as I go.
Short term goals
Pass UNI Make sure kids are OK Continue with my Counselling Detach
Anything else right now is a bonus
GAL will have to wait until May LOL
Bill
Me 34 W 32 D 9 S 6 M: 9 years T: 12 Bomb: 02/11/12 EA/PA: 12/17/11 - ongoing Moved out: Oct 2012 Joint Filed for D: 2/11/13
