You are still way too attached and it will continue to hurt you and cloud your judgment. When you feel ^^^^^^ those feelings you have to start trying to handle them and not let them linger. I used to wear a rubber band on my wrist and snap it when I had those thoughts.
Really detachment is your best friend. I am not going to try to convince you your w is having an affair. How bout lets just say she is no longer committed to your m and making choices that are best for her instead for you both and for the m.
You have accept that reality and find detachment or you will continue to spin your wheels and be a victim of this circumstance rather than taking charge of it yourself.
Control yourself and you will be the master of your own destiny.
Detach.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
