Is it normal to feel empowered and hopeless the next hour? Is is really hard for me to not want to try and fix things
Yes, absolutely. If you read other threads, you'll see it over and over. One minute things are great and then the roller coaster goes down, down, down but...it also goes up.
Hey, I am a major control-freak-fixer. When the urge to fix strikes ask yourself: What is the problem? Does it belong to me? Did anyone ask for my help to fix it? If you answer no to the last 2, let it go.
Fixing things can give people the idea you think they are incapable of handling things.
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If my W is telling me I have not been there is it the best to detach from her?
Detach is more about emotional distance than physical distance. You work to get to the place where her feelings/emotions don't affect yours.
Have you read the Livestrong article about detachment? Google it, if not.
Be nice but not fawning or pursuing. Give her mental space.
Keep up the good work!
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
