Divorce & Depression

[Denver_2010]

Chatterbug is making some good points. However, I cannot agree with advice telling someone that they are or are not better off moving on.

PC obviously loves his W and wants to figure out how to help her though this and save his marriage. That is why he is here.

I'm sure that when PC said his wedding vows, that 'in good times and in bad' were included.

We don't give up on our spouses just because they go through a rough time or because they have issues. We ALL have issues. Would we give up on our children, or our parents, if they had mental health issues. This is no different. In fact, even more important when talking about our spouses. They SHOULD be the most important person in our lives.

This is what unconditional love is all about. And THIS is something that we learn by going through hard times.

PC - You do need to stand up to your W on some things. But you can do this in a loving way. Don't play tit for tat by staking out part of the house that you will keep clean, or by making similar choices that your W is making.

Your W is in pain right now PC. I realize that the words that you hear her speak do not reflect that right now. But remember, we believe zero of what we hear, and only 50% of what we see, in these times.

Being the lighthouse means that you are a rock. That you remain calm and dependable in the face of tremendous adversity. Being the lighthouse means that you remain a safe haven for you W.

You need to decide if you want to exercise the patience necessary to become that lighthouse PC. What are you willing to do and go through for you W? Are you willing to walk through the gates of hell for you W... while not knowing if you can save her or your M?

"There once was a man who was sentenced to 25
years of backbreaking labor. His wrists were tied
to the handle of a huge wheel that was inlaid in
the wall. His job was to turn the wheel 10 hours
 a day.

For years, day in and day out, the prisoner would
 wonder what he was doing with this wheel. What
was the meaning of his work? What was on the
other side of this wall? Was he grinding grain?
 Pulling up water? Moving some sort of conveyor
belt?

For 25 years he contemplated the meaning of his
work, and for 25 years he spun that wheel. It was
 grueling, but he survived.

When his sentence was complete he was released
 from prison. The first thing he did was run to
the other side of the wall to see what he had
been doing all this time.

What did he see?

Nothing!

There was nothing attached to the wheel. For 25
years, 10 hours a day, he was spinning a wheel
for absolutely no purpose.

When the man realized
his true sentence, he collapsed and died.

The prisoner was able to survive 25 years of 
backbreaking labor, but when he realized that it 
was all for nothing, he couldn't survive for 
another moment.

So what's the difference between pain and
 suffering?

Pain has a purpose.

Suffering is true torture because it has no 
meaning.

Pain is bearable. Suffering for no reason is
 devastating."

Denver