I guess the short answer to the question of what do I want in my M is to be happy, loving, caring and open with each other. In all four of those areas, I failed as a husband and father to our children.
UPDATE Two weeks ago W calls out of the blue and wants us to talk to regroup. I ask pleasantly, "Is everything OK?" Her answer - Yes, just want to get on the same page.
I quickly scheduled a DB Coaching call with Lennie (sp?) who is familiar w/sitch and very good. We go through the last year and a half and she asks me some very good questions - What is your worst expectation? That my W is going to ask for a divorce. She shared with me some things to say and expressed to me that I need to validate W's feelings.
On 3/11 we have our talk. I sit with her and allow her to take lead. Worst fears came true. Brief synopsis:
W - We have been so friendly, caring, helpful to each other living apart. I can not change my mind.
M - Change mind about what?
W - (Sadly) Wanting a divorce.
M - I am sad to hear how you feel hopeless about our relationship.
W - It makes me sad too.
We went on to talk for an hour and a half. Openly discussing our failures, apologizing and forgiving.
Over the past week our conversations have been less intimate and short. I try not to peruse or pressure her. She has seen a lawyer and has be in contact with yet another man. 2X4's ready, yes I snooped.
I guess the writing in on the wall and I need to accept her moving on. I realize that I never let her go and need to now.
Its so difficult to see this come to an end. Just awaiting legal proceedings to start.
More later.
M 38 W 50 S 9, D 6 T 12 M 10 W's 1st EA 4/2007 stopped after confront W's 2nd EA 6/2010 Separated 7/2010 I bomb dropped 7/2010 MC 2/2011 - 3/2011 W bomb dropped 4/2011 Nothing filed or done
