looking for hope

[jc180]

Yesterday she came over and our son was asleep. She had mentioned that she went to Church on Sunday and that the sermon was all about me. So while she was here she asked about the bills. I told her I wasn't going to make any changes on the advice of my attorney and that I will comply with whatever the judge wants. I sat down at the computer and found the sermon online. She pulls up a chair and we watched it together. It was about Jacob and how he was a cheat and manipulator all his life until he lives up to God's desire for him and he changes his ways. Afterwards she told me that I was a liar and manipulator for our entire marriage. She also said that I was her darkness and she was washing her hands of me. I told her it was ironic that she was using the sermon to justify her breaking her vows. She said she is a good person and I don't respect women. She also said right now she is in hell but she would rather stay in hell than come back to me. Wow! I have never been so hurt. The only positive thing I could say about what happened is that I never told her anything negative or threw accusations at her. I stayed calm and left the house. In hindsight I know she baited me into an argument, but I didn't think it was going to turn out that way since she pulled up a seat and watched the sermon with me.

Our friends are telling me that everything she is saying about me is not true. When I ask them to be objective and truthful they tell me that they just don't see me that way.

So my lawyer wants me to get some character witnesses ready and to take pictures of our home. We should be in court next Monday for temporary orders. She should be getting served today or tomorrow. I'm getting ready for the venom that is going to come my way.

Her father called me Sunday evening. He is a good man and I admire him greatly. He told me that if I want to keep my family together I have to stay firm. To pray and stay faithful and in time I might get what I want. I was worried that my in-laws would see me in a negative light since I have not shared with them my point of view. I don't think it would be appropriate for me to reach out to them. It was a good feeling to know they are thinking about me and my son.