You have to give yourself credit for the work you have done on yourself. Look none of us know what the future holds and all any of us can do is work to become the best person possible. Time is an important piece of this puzzle. The more time that passes, the more you learn about yourself and what’s important. I am not saying that you are stuck, I am saying that time heals and helps us find the path we wish to follow. If you would have asked me last year at this time what I wanted, I would have said my wife back. Time has helped me grow and become a better father a better friend and an all around better person. You know who I thank for allowing this to happen? My ex wife. If none of this would have happened, would I have got off my butt and actually did the work to become the person I am today? Nope. So I do see the benefits that come from going through all the bad stuff.
Part of this process is learning to pick yourself back up when you get knocked down. Just when you think you can’t get kicked to the ground it’s going to happen. I learned early on that no matter how good things are looking in your sitch you better expect the worst. It’s coming trust me on that. I see progress in most of the stories I read on this board. I don’t post many things because to be honest I didn’t listen to the wonderful advice I was given here. I stayed stuck for several months thinking we would reconcile any day. I had a hard time letting my ex go because I thought we had the perfect marriage. When I finally figured out the only person we can fix is ourselves. That’s when my puzzle started coming together. I hope that all of us going through this see the light at the end of the tunnel and if any of us put our marriages together that is wonderful. The real task is to save ourselves and live life to its fullest.
Once you see that you have been depressed that is key to getting your life back on track. Why should you let someone else’s actions control your emotions? You are in control of your life so put people in your life that bring you happiness not frustration. When you remove yourself emotionally from the people that hurt you most in life the real healing begins. I will say that I know we all make mistakes but when you truly detach from the drama you will feel so much better about life. I was pulled back in by my MLC’er so many times it wasn’t funny and now I just refuse to let that happen. Don’t allow someone to play with your heart strings. It’s not fair to you or your kids.
Keep reading and posting it really is good to learn from others.
Me 44 W 38 M 18 D 18 D 13 Bomb 10/21/2010 Divorced 7/19/2011 Just getting to the 7th inning!
