Thanks everyone - I know it's a challenge, but it does not stop it being upsetting, I look after the girls every weekend at the moment, as she goes out to work Fri / Sat night and most Sunday days.
Having said that - the A with OM that was supposed to be over in the summer is back on. A friend of my W's for whatever reason decided to tell me to "be fair" - she said it cooled for a while but now it's back on.
Not sure what to do with this info - except store it for future use, it's no surprise given the hours she has been keeping. My L says adultery won't play into anything unless she is embarassed if it's exposed - I'm not sure I could ever do that to her - all I could do is use it as a threat for more time with the girls and pay a more reasonable animony amount. But I'm really not the threatening type...
Peace everyone...
M47 W45 D10 (Has CP) D7 M12 T14 ILYBINILWY 5/1/11 Asked for seperation 5/10/11 Seriously DBing 7/1/11 W admitted to 2 EA's on 11/3/11. Evidence of PA 11/5/11 - Definite evidence of PA 11/20/11 D - Final 7/11/12
rough news nyc. stay strong for the kiddos bro. things will work out for the best for you and your kids in the long run either way guaranteed. i know its easy for me to say hard for me to reciprocate.
My focus is on the girls and life post divorce. I've been preparing for this and how to make a better life for me and the girls within the constraints of divorce.
No doubt in my mind that a complete family unit is the best way to raise children - given that option is no longer there, then the next option is to make my time with them as fulfilling and rewarding as possible, while nurturing them and allowing them to grow.
Peace everyone....
M47 W45 D10 (Has CP) D7 M12 T14 ILYBINILWY 5/1/11 Asked for seperation 5/10/11 Seriously DBing 7/1/11 W admitted to 2 EA's on 11/3/11. Evidence of PA 11/5/11 - Definite evidence of PA 11/20/11 D - Final 7/11/12
So sorry Peter. I don't wish this on anyone. But I hope you have not lost hope that things will get better. Yes have fun with the girls and have fun yourself. Take good care of you because life has good things waiting.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I agree with you 100% Peter, complete family unit would be best for the kids...but we both know we don't have a full say in that matter.
Take strength from doing the best you can for yourself and your girls. I have a few special photos and a simple crayon drawing that one of my 4yo twin girls drew of a small stick figure with long hair smiling next to a tall stick figure saying "I love you daddy" that I look to every day (and especially when I am feeling off) that help empower me and give me the will and strength to move forward strongly and positively for myself and for them.
Me:34, W:33 M:11 T:18 D1:6yo D2&3:4yo (twins) Bomb/ILYBNILWY/EA w/ co-worker: Oct 2011 Still in house together, she has move out date set for May 27, we tell the kids May 24...I hate "May"
Ok - I'm struggling with not telling my W that I know the A is ongoing. I want so much to tell her much hurt and disrespect it has caused - I know it won't do any good and this moment shall pass and I'll get over it. I am angry and right now I fear I will take it out on her during the D proceedings...
Peace everyone
M47 W45 D10 (Has CP) D7 M12 T14 ILYBINILWY 5/1/11 Asked for seperation 5/10/11 Seriously DBing 7/1/11 W admitted to 2 EA's on 11/3/11. Evidence of PA 11/5/11 - Definite evidence of PA 11/20/11 D - Final 7/11/12
NYCPeter, are you done? Are you at the point now where you accept that your relationship with W is over and you're ready to move on? If so, say what you want, as long as doing so is consistent with the person you want to be.
If not, and if you still have hopes for an eventual reconciliation, then hold your tongue. Assume that she knows how much it hurts you and has decided she's ok with it. Why give her the satisfaction of acknowledging it? It's more powerful if you just ignore it.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
My focus is on the girls and life post divorce. I've been preparing for this and how to make a better life for me and the girls within the constraints of divorce.
No doubt in my mind that a complete family unit is the best way to raise children - given that option is no longer there, then the next option is to make my time with them as fulfilling and rewarding as possible, while nurturing them and allowing them to grow.
Peace everyone....
what a beautiful heroic way^^^ to see this...
as for OM...who cares?
He is beneath you noticing or commenting upon...he'll never be half the father or step father you are
and only time will show that to your wife. You do not need to point it out as all will be revealed in time.
Keep doing your own work and live up to this post of yours.
Hold your head high...and know that we are here supporting you.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Well I managed to keep my mouth shut. It must have been obvious that something was on my mind, because she asked if "everything was ok" - I just mentioned an upcoming work deliverable that was on my mind (there actually is one - so not really a lie).
W is working every night this week (as it's restaurant week in Hudson valley) - I get to spend more time with the girls during the week which is great.
I've asked my L to delay sending the response to my W until next week, I've outlined the changes I want - nothing significant mostly a tightening of the agreement so that it's not misinterpreted and a reduction in the duration of alimony.
Peace everyone...
M47 W45 D10 (Has CP) D7 M12 T14 ILYBINILWY 5/1/11 Asked for seperation 5/10/11 Seriously DBing 7/1/11 W admitted to 2 EA's on 11/3/11. Evidence of PA 11/5/11 - Definite evidence of PA 11/20/11 D - Final 7/11/12
