So Hurt

[tonibertha]

This is so much like my own situation. I've been married for 2 years and 2 months and this is our second separation. The first one lasted 10 weeks after i asked H to move out (he was only coming home every other day - he wasn't even working then!) . He moved back in August 2011 and I moved out in November 2011 when i found out about the affair the day before he took OW to our country to introduce her to his friends and family. DD is 17 months now and I have been like a single mum since i was pregnant because he was never interested in helping me in any way. He has seen her twice since November (asked to see her a few times but doesnt show up). He now sends money for her monthly but she doesn't recognise him when she sees him. The marriage was hell while it lasted. Affair started 6 months into the marriage and was always denied when i probed. H started disappearing weekends, ignoring any requests to spend time together, telling me he didn't love me at all.

Found out about OW in December 2010 from call records. Got the we are just friends story (she didnt even know he was married). In March 2011, she told me 'From what i understand, your marriage is as good as over'. Both of them still insisting they were just friends.

Finally confirmed on 25/11/2011 (stole his phone while he was asleep). Found out they were travelling the next day (he had told me he was travelling to work for a week). Texts from her pressuring him to move out, saying 'i cant talk to my boyfriend when he's at home cos his wife might hear' and 'you are shacked up with your wife'. I just couldnt deal with all that.

Looking back, intead of waiting to confirm the affair, once you suspect one, act as tho he is having one (Detach, GAL etc). It was hard for me to GAL with no money and a baby, but i should have tried.