am i better off without him?

[sandi2]

My suggestion is that you stay out of R conversations. If he persists with statements like that, then look at him and listen. However, don't say anything in response. When you can...nod your head, and when you can't agree then don't nod or shake your head...just listen.

how can i ever be happy with you again?

"I can't make your happiness for you. We each have to make ourselves happy." (Then leave it at that. It will be tempting to add how you want another chance, but don't. Let him do the talking.)

i've listed the good and the bad about you and the bad outweighs the good.

"Okay".

you're evil.

i pushed my kids away for you!

No response to statements like this. Just don't take the bait. I know it would be extremely hard for me not to come back with a whole dialog, but you would be saying "more" by not saying anything to him. After his spew, walk away from him.

That response (by saying nothing) will make a bigger statement and will cause him to think.

If you are bracing yourself for when he comes home, then I'm sure he is also. He will think you have a ton to say. When you don't respond like you once did, it will catch him off balance, and that will be what he thinks about later.

It doesn't mean you agree when you don't say anything to his verbal attack, it just means you are listening.