W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2

[Snowman]

Wow, I'm astounded by all the response and want to thank everyone up front for all the feedback.

Before I respond to all the various posts I will give my perspective on this as I have thought about what is happening and has happened.

I think Mindfull and others are right as far as me being played. I'm pretty sure this is the 2nd if not 3rd time this has happened. Fool me once shame on her, fool me twice shame on me, fool me thrice shame on us seems fitting for all this. I really think that when my W has someone waiting on the sideline she wants a D and when the guy wises up and leaves her she suddenly wants to talk about maybe working on things. I have had various conversations with her throughout the months and see many men's numbers go through our cell records that come and go as well as pictures that got posted by accident on Facebook before she blocked me, my family, and my friends. She never really had much to say in the past conversations kind of like this one. She has already admitted her communication problem before as well. As I mentioned before there is now a new number that popped up from her last running trip and now she is acting cold to me again in communication again through text.

Mr. Bond is right about the irony because it seems she is being controlled by other men and I feel like she is controlling me or manipulating me. I don't think my wife has a strong self esteem and is always chasing things that people are doing to claim as here own. I have talked about that in earlier posts.

Ok I will try to somewhat respond to it all.

I'm prepared to talk to her about what has been mentioned by 25yearsmlc, Bond, and others that have posted because it is time to buck up or shu* up and I'm ready for whatever the results bring. I'm really not confrontational or outspoken type of guy so this is not my thing but I really feel it is necessary and that I have beat around the bush long enough in a timid manner. I'm not saying I'm going to talk to her guns a blazing I'm just saying I'm ready to have this go one direction or another.

If I'm reading this all correctly your suggesting to talk about my changes in one conversation with examples of things to do with her love language which is "Words" and talk about the OM in another conversation?

At the beginning of my stitch I questioned numerous times about OMs which she denied. I questioned some more about OMs later and she denied it. There is now another OM and she has a close friend who went through a D that started dating OMs before her D was over as well as her father who cheated. I don't say that to blame them just to point out these are the people she confides in for advice and examples. I really think that she will deny any other man again if I do say something and I would have to say something like I can provide evidence if necessary for her to admit it. I know this sounds like trying to be right but I really think she will just deny it again and brush it off as she has done with everything else that she will not own up to.

I will send the dang letter already . Kaffe Diem-I truly do want to change for me because that's what I want for me and who ever my future spouse is.

25yearsmlc-Thanks for such a detailed and LONG posts. You make a person think and always have very well thought out advice as do many who have posted on my stitch. I need time to digest it all and formulate my approach as suggested.