This is an email my H sent to my friend today regarding her telling me about the A:
"First off I want to tell you how sorry I am for putting you in the position that I put you in. To say that I am ashamed of what I did would be an understatement. I have made decisions that have utterly crushed my family and I will forever be ashamed of what I did. I also want to Thank you for telling JKS. I don't know the specifics of everything you told her but it was enough. This may sound strange but I am so relieved that I was confronted. I have been trying to find the courage to tell her but I was so scared to do so. I have been unhappy for a long time and I thought that making some of the decisions that I made would some how make me happy again. I was wrong. I miss my family more that anything and all I want is to have them back. I know that JKS and I have a lot of work to do in order for this to work and I especially have a lot of work in order to gain her trust again. I also hope that I haven't lost you guys as friends.
Again, Thank you for telling her and I am so sorry for putting you guys in that position."
This made me happy to see that he was being so forthcoming with our friends about what just happened.
He never picked up the kids today because he has bronchitis and is contagious. I didn't want to risk that with our kids. However, I have been so sick and today was absolutely miserable in that regard.
He did mention that he works a day shift on Friday and would like to go out as a family Friday night. I said, ok. I just hope he talks to OW before then. I don't find it ok moving forward without that happening first. But, obviously, I don't want to pressure him to do it and will wait for him to come to me regarding that. He did tell me on the night I found out that he was going to call her that night. But I think he got too sick that he just didn't have the energy. He has been sick a lot lately... now that I think about it. His immune system is reflecting his emotional turmoil.
I did tell my friend's cousin that if she ever sees H's car at OW's house that I would really appreciate it if she would tell me right away. If he continues on with it then I know where we stand.
But, yes, I'm going to continue to DB and not lash out at him. He is human and I get that. I immediately felt when I was texting him last night that our dynamic was going back to how it was when we first separated. And I did not like that feeling. I don't want to go there.
I do feel lucky that he is so willing to work on this now and mentioned today that hopefully we can work things out soon so we won't have to continue to go back and forth with our kids. But I think babysteps for now. Hanging out and feeling our way through it and talking things out in a mature way as the issues arise.
I was definitely having a moment from my last posts and I'm sure they won't be my last but right now I'm ok and I feel good about us.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
